We heard from our agency, but the news wasn’t so great.
|“The region has started afresh a new movement to hinder the adoption of kids who have at least one living parent.This has triggered a new inconvenience to this case. The region is forcefully taking children away from the orphanages to reintegrate them with birth parents.” This is directly from our agency.
I know it is best for “my” children to stay with their biological mom and family. Their mom struggled with the decision to give her children up for adoption to strangers from a distant land. Her decision wasn’t one that was easily or quickly made. When she went before the judge to relinquish her rights as a parent, she also visited her children for what would probably be the last time. She didn’t have to, but she wanted to make sure they would be cared for and loved. I cannot imagine the pain this woman went through and continues to face as a result of her decision.
This is the second time (that I know of), the southern region has contacted the families to try to reunite them with their children. They have offered money, coming from a well known NGO, to help provide for the children. But the money isn’t even enough to cover the cost to feed their kids. Putting their children up for adoption was the only hope these parents had for their children’s survival. It wasn’t about a better life, it was about surviving, period.
Now, the parents are unsure what will happen to their children. Will they be eligible to be adopted? Will they be forced to return home? As hard as it must have been give their children away, it must be so much harder not knowing what will happen now? The families economic situation has not changed. Their health status has not improved. The only change is that the regional government and a NGO have decided that they know what is best for these families without even knowing any particulars about their situation.
I applaud the effort being made by so many organizations to help families stay together. I wish more groups could be on the ground helping families in this way, but I think it is wrong to remove the option of adoption.
Yes, adoption is born out of loss. The loss of a family, a loss of culture and history, a loss that must be mourned. Those of us who want to adopt, we know that adoption isn’t usually the first choice of the biological families. We know, I know, that most women want to keep their children and watch them grow up. They want to be a part of their lives. But when that isn’t possible, adoption gives hope to those moms. Now,it seems, that hope is being taken away from them.
It has been almost two years since we first looked at their faces. They looked so sad, confused, and scared. I looked at their big eyes on the photo, and I hurt for them. I hurt for their mom. I wondered how and if I could meet their needs. But I had fallen in love with a picture and I knew we would figure out how to meet any need that may arise. When we met face to face last spring, I fell in love all over again. They are amazing!
The truth is, I am not the only parent who loves these two children. They have a living mom, not so far away and I have no doubt that she loves them, just as much, if not more, than I do. Is it possible that she will agree to take them back into her home? Yes, and if that were to happen, I would mourn the loss of them in my life. I would devastated. Tears have started flowing just at the thought that this might happen. My only comfort would be in knowing that they would be with a mom who truly loves them and tries to do what is best for them.
We are at place where a miracle is needed. What do I ask for? Do I ask for our adoption to be completed quickly and for our children to join our family? That is what I want. Do I ask that their mom’s situation change so she can take them back into her home again? We pray for their mom all the time. How could I say that I loved these children and then not pray for their Ethiopian family?
So what miracle are we waiting on? The one that finalizes a decision. Will these children be in our home one day? I believe so, I hope so. The judge has refused to act because our children have been removed to another region. So we are left waiting, once again. But we are not left without hope. And our hope doesn’t rest in the actions or inactions of man.
“We’ll see each other once again, face to face.”